I knew Bruce and Kay as a couple for 25 years who generally referred to each other as their “partner” or “sidekick” when forced to apply some term other than their name. This usually didn’t change much even after they became parents together, so I was both happy and surprised when Bruce casually told me in a phone call on a Thursday in May of 2005 that he and Kay were getting married that weekend. Since Kay had a more regular job than Bruce while they were living in Michigan, he was on Kay’s insurance, but apparently they actually had to be formally married for him to receive this benefit. They had asked a friend with a Universalist Life Minister’s certificate acquired from the internet to perform the necessary service. They weren’t making a big deal about it, but I wanted to be there.
It’s an understatement to say it was a smallish wedding. since the guests included three of Bruce’s enviro friends, the “minister,” and me. It was, nonetheless, a very sweet ceremony that matched their personalities. We gathered in their living room and Bruce and Kay listened to some brief, sincere, and legal language spoken by their officiating friend. I think I said some words expressing the appreciation and affection that many of their numerous friends and I felt for them as individuals and the first couple that emerged from our early days of Greenpeace in Seattle to stay together for the long haul. They kissed, we all enjoyed a yummy cake, danced, and shared a toast from a nice bottle of tequila. After we enjoyed some vegetables that Bruce roasted on the barbeque, Kay left for the airport to go to a meeting in Washington, D.C. Bruce and I went out later to play some indoor soccer. Bruce and Kay were not big on making romantic gestures in public, but the love, tolerance, and support they shared with each other for 40 years was well-known and inspiring to their friends. One of Bruce’s unique talents is placing captions on photos that highlight the essence of a situation. I hope that other readers will appreciate it as the best way to capture the spirit of their ceremony.
