In 1988, when my son Eric was in kindergarten, I got a call from the father of a boy in his class, asking if Eric could come to their house for a playdate. That was the first time I met Bruce. Kay wasn’t home – I don’t know where she was, but I’m sure she wasn’t off doing something frivolous. I guess Eric (kind of boisterous at the time) and Nate (kind of quiet) hit it off, because more playdates followed. Gradually a core group of friends formed, thanks to day care, school, and sports — friendships that grew and lasted through high school and beyond, for both the boys and their parents. These boys grew up with a whole tribe of parents looking out for them, supporting them, coordinating their summer camps, coaching them, mentoring them, driving them, feeding them, enjoying their company, checking in with each other, and sometimes worrying about them. I feel so grateful to have had this close-knit community, and that it’s lasted through the years, despite geographic distance. I’m grateful that Kay was part of it and grateful that she knew that all of us who’ve stayed in Takoma Park will be here for Nate and Halie (who, happily, chose to move back to MD from LA a few years ago). And she knew we’ll be here for 2-year old Collin as he grows up. He won’t likely remember his grandmother much, if at all, but he’ll be surrounded by people who knew and loved her and will help keep her memory alive.
I’m posting some pictures from celebrations through the years – the “moms” celebrating the boys’ 2001 high school graduation, the annual 4th of July Takoma Park parade celebration at Pat and Wabi’s (which, until they moved from Takoma Park in 2001, was always followed by a pre-fireworks barbecue at Kay and Bruce’s); and at one of the weddings of the Takoma Park group of friends.
I don’t know with how many people Kay played “Words with Friends,” but she was my one and only “Words with Friends” buddy. I loved the feeling of connection with her when that little “ping” on my phone would let me know she’d just played a word, 3,000 miles away. I miss that and miss knowing she’s in the world, making it more beautiful and fighting to make it better.
The “Mothers of Sons” group, at the boys’ high school graduation celebration, 2001
at a Takoma Park 4th of July celebration, with Wabi Aboudou
Kay in her spectacular garden, being a spectacular hostess and cook